How I Started Thinking About This

I did not start thinking about this because of a leadership theory. It came from something much more practical.

There are simply too many invitations and too little time.

As a campus leader, I receive invitations to many events. Some are major university functions. Others are smaller programmes organised by students, departments or campus groups. Naturally, I have to choose.

My usual approach was simple. If I thought an event was less important, I would decline it.

Then I began to notice something.

When I could not attend some student programmes, there was disappointment. At first, I thought this was simply because they wanted the Campus Director to attend their event. But gradually I realised that I might have been looking at it from the wrong angle.

I was judging the importance of the event.

They might have felt that I was judging the importance of them.

That is a very different thing.

An event may be small. But it may mean a lot to the people who spent weeks organising it.

Presence Sends a Message

Leadership is not only about making decisions, signing papers or chairing meetings.

Sometimes, simply being there matters.

Mintzberg (1975), in his classic study of managerial work, described the figurehead role of a manager. Leaders are expected to perform ceremonial and symbolic duties as part of their formal position. These activities may involve little direct decision-making, but they are still part of leadership.

I understand this better now.

When a leader attends an event, especially a small one, the message can be very simple:

I see what you are doing. It matters.

A letter may say the same thing. A representative may attend on our behalf. We can even send a recorded message.

But they do not always carry the same meaning as being physically present.

Absence Also Sends a Message

This was probably the more important lesson for me.

I used to think that declining an invitation was mainly a scheduling decision.

Sometimes it is not seen that way.

People notice where leaders spend their time. If we repeatedly attend certain types of events but not others, people will naturally form their own conclusions about what we value.

That does not mean a leader must attend everything. That is impossible.

But it means we should be aware that our pattern of attendance itself sends a message.

Our calendar may be more public than we think.

Sometimes the Small Events Matter More

There is another irony.

At a major university event, there will usually be many senior officers. The institution will be well represented.

At a small student event, a departmental programme, a sports final or a farewell, the situation is different.

Sometimes the presence of one senior leader makes a much bigger difference there.

This reminds me of the hadith about the person who used to clean the mosque. When the person died, the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, was not informed. When the Prophet learned about it, he asked about the person, went to the grave and prayed there (Sahih al-Bukhari, 1337).

There is an important leadership lesson here.

What appears small from the leader’s position may not be small to the person concerned.

But There Is a Real Limit

There is another side to this.

Many student activities, sports events and community programmes happen at night or during weekends.

Those hours are not empty spaces in a leader’s calendar. They are also time for family, personal matters and rest.

If every invitation is considered separately, it becomes difficult. After a long week, saying no is often the easiest decision.

Perhaps a better approach is to decide the limit beforehand.

For example, I can allocate a reasonable number of evenings or weekends each month for campus activities. The opportunities can then be spread across different Kulliyyahs, student groups and types of activities.

This makes the decision more balanced.

When I have to decline, it is not because the programme is unimportant. It is simply because there is a limit to what one person can reasonably do.

Presence Should Not Be About the Leader

There is also an important question of intention.

A leader should attend because his presence gives recognition to others, not because he wants recognition for himself.

This distinction is important in Islam.

Mu’awiyah reported that the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, warned against a person who likes others to stand for him (Jami’ at-Tirmidhi, 2755; Sunan Abi Dawud, 5229).

There is also a separate report from Anas ibn Malik. He said that no person was more beloved to the Companions than the Prophet, peace be upon him. Yet when they saw him, they did not stand because they knew that he disliked it (Jami’ at-Tirmidhi, 2754).

For me, the lesson is simple.

The value of attending an event should not be about making the leader feel important.

It should be about making the people we serve feel that their work is important.

Finding the Balance

Of course, no leader can attend everything.

Some people will still be disappointed. That cannot be completely avoided, and disappointment alone cannot determine the leader’s calendar.

The challenge is to find a reasonable balance.

Attend enough to remain connected.

Attend beyond the usual major and prestigious events.

Make time for students, staff and smaller groups.

But also accept that there must be limits.

Perhaps the real question is not:

“How important is this event?”

A better question may be:

“To whom is this event important, and what does my presence mean to them?”

That small change in perspective has changed the way I look at invitations.

Sometimes leadership is about making the big decisions.

Sometimes it is simply about showing up.

References

Al-Bukhari, M. I. Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Jana’iz, Hadith 1337.

Abu Dawud, S. A. Sunan Abi Dawud, Kitab al-Adab, Hadith 5229.

Al-Tirmidhi, M. I. Jami’ at-Tirmidhi, Kitab al-Adab, Hadith 2754–2755.

Mintzberg, H. (1975). The manager’s job: Folklore and fact. Harvard Business Review, 53(4), 49–61.